It’s that time of year between Christmas and New Year celebrations, whatever that looks and feels like at your place. A hiatus, a time for ‘restivities’ as I like to call it – a break from festivities. After such a strange year that most of us are still trying to come to terms with, I feel that this year more than ever we should all ensure that we make time to do very little and allow a pause for repose.
I am heeding my own suggestion as I write this (and I know Nick will be paying close attention too!) as I can be a serial offender when it comes to resisting rest, repose, relaxation, time out or doing ‘nothing’.
I take no comfort in knowing that I’m not alone in being ‘busy’, mentally or physically so much of the time and could put it down to my personality, internal and external pressures and influences, that I have a lot to do or to my gender – a lot of women I speak to experience the same. Being honest, it’s probably the pressure I place on myself but if I have the slightest sense that something ‘needs’ to be done, then I’ll do it and I’ll tend to do the things that ‘need’ to be done ahead of things I’d like to do. Sound familiar?
Mind you, I’ll make an exception when it comes to certain jobs around the home or garden particularly at this time or year when it’s likely to be hot and humid with all of the biting, stinging insects that like that sort of thing and seem to be besotted with me!
Anyway …this year has been different. I definitely feel the need for repose and time out. Yes, it’s been challenging for Nick and me in many ways yet not as challenging as it has been for others both in other parts of Australia and around the world. This year I have realised more than ever before that, when I feel pressure or overwhelm which causes stress to build up, I internalise it, and that’s no way to handle it. I have also recognised that if you add in fatigue and, in my case, ineffective breathing at times, it makes everything worse. I’m working on all of this …
As I wrote last week, life offers us reflections, opportunities to stop and look at our self and our life; our habits our routines, our self-talk, our communication, our friendships, our relationships – the whole kit and caboodle. When offered It can be easy to do a shallow dip into that, a toe in the water, and feel as though we’ve done the work, but it actually requires a deeper dive which can feel uncomfortable and have us needing to surface for air at times as we come to terms with what is revealed.
However difficult it feels, it’s important and necessary if we want to evolve, become the best ‘us’ we can be and not re-create the same situations that have caused previous pain, emotional or physiologica for ourselves or others. This is what I’ve taken from this year and started to learn, perhaps you have found something similar; from adversity comes opportunity and we choose what we do with that.
Whatever these last 12 months have exposed in your life, making the decision to change is a starting point and there are many ways to bring about change and be supported along the way. In fact, here’s probably and app for it …!
So … I’m planning to use my restivity to do very little, enjoy time in and around our home and region, spend gentle time in the company of Nick, our cats and good friends while quietly appreciating all that we have, accepting each moment for what it offers, resting and pondering on the way forward. AND … doing as little as possible.
That will be pretty different for me but it’s never too late and you’re never too old to change and create more supportive habits, so I’ll let you know how I go!
For now, enjoy your own restivities.